Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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