We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
