there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
