..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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