She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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