Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
