He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize