i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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