she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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