I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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