you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't put those talents on a resume
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
