what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
