Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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