I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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