Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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