I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
