I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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