how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
