Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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