I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Your tits are I can't wait for
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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