Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
a search helicopter?!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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