I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize