that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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