i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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