I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
