Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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