i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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