In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize