I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
