I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
