so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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