Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
