ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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