tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
