So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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