So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
