I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
