sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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