just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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