Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
