Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize