sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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