You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
