new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i will never coherently bang her
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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