maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
