R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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