It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
