He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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