my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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