I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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