idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
