Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize