That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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