last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
