i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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