Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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