You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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