She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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