words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize