haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
